I have a million interests, but my pen will always have a place in my heart. My typical day consists of an early morning workout, prepping for work, mommy duties, leaving for work, fitting in Spanish and computer language microlessons into the day, attempting to achieve my daily water and my step goals, drinking Spark to make sure I have enough energy to make it through the day, driving from one location to the next, occasionally going to an evening workout, maybe sneaking in a few pages of books I should have read and reviewed months ago, thinking about what my next creative project will be, and going home to handle more mommy duties. Physically and financially, I’m the best I’ve been in years and am improving every day. When it comes to matters of the heart, however, that could still use some work.
I think my biggest issue as far as controlling how I allow the actions of others to impact me is that I don’t always listen to my intuition. The little voice in the back of my head isn’t a little one at all. In fact, it is very loud at times. I can think of several occasions when I would have been spared many headaches, stomachaches and sleepless nights if I had listened to that voice telling me the best thing to do. I never listen to avoid though. I’ve become better at recovering. It doesn’t take me as long as it used to take to pick up the pieces and move on. Things happen and I remember that I’ve always been a little different from the norm. Always been the eccentric, sometimes reclusive artist. I seek refuge in the pages of my notebook (the virtual pages of the note-taking apps on my smartphone) and I emerge after I’ve temporarily cleansed my soul of whatever weighed it down. Intellectually, I know that not everyone I make acquaintances with has malicious intentions. I know that some of them actually want to be friends and not foes, but when they do things (or I simply have a negative reaction to things I find undesirable) sometimes I can’t help but to retreat and question myself (and occasionally do a little name-calling and plotting.) What did I do wrong? Could I have been better? Maybe that person was just an asshole. Or maybe…maybe it is none of those things and that’s just the way life goes sometimes. I still look in the mirror and see beauty. I still look at the child I birthed and see a miracle. I look at the small circle of people I know and realize that I trust most of them. Then I move on, better prepared for whatever else may either bring joy or wreak havoc.
Hearts and Stars
I have a heart for every star in the universe.
There’s one dying every day,
in the expanse,
there is another emerging.
© LeTara Moore, All Rights Reserved
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